Sunday, January 11, 2015

Sunday's Mini-challenge: David Huerta


image from google dot com

OPEN AND SHUT SURGES

You open the window to grackle songs
The smooth gaze of velvet stings

You shut the cords of angels eyes
Their flight from irises to engage

You open and shut the dreamers weave
To thread my life through needle bare of bones

Yet fleshed of human emotions
through which my mind surges
© gillena cox



Written in response to
Sunday's Mini-challenge: David Huerta...challenged to write a new poem or prose poem in response to David Huerta's words. Some examples of responses include affirming what the speaker said or using his title or line of verse as a jumping board for your own writing.

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads


And sharing also at
Poetry Pantry 234

34 comments:

  1. Beautifully done and intriguing:. I love "the dreamer's weave" especially.

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  2. interesting...each little couplet could stand alone but come together to form a greater hold...what we bind and what we loose eh?

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  3. The needle through bare bones is a stunning image.. Very close yet your own words from David Huerta.

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  4. You have some powerful images here, Gillena...especially 'to thread my life through needle bare of bones.'

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  5. Thank you for your appreciation SHerry

    much love...

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  6. Thank you Brian, surely appreciative of your critique

    much love...

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  7. You open and shut the dreamers weave
    To thread my life through needle bare of bones..... beautiful

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  8. Each couplet is beautifully realized, Gillena. This is excellent poetry.

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  9. That third couplet is dazzling ~ I admire how you mimicked Huerta's writing style and infused it with your own ~ Thanks for participating with Real Toads & wishing you happy weekend ~

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  10. Thank you for your appreciation Kerry

    much love...

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  11. Happy you dropped in Grace

    much love...

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  12. O what a shapeless blob, this boneless flesh! ANd then the magic of thinking gives it eyes, angels, meaning.

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  13. This is stunning with each verse having complimentary words such as "window and gaze", "eyes and irises", "weave and needle", then "emotions and mind". I loved it.

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  14. The third couplet is my favorite..one can feel the sharpness of opening and shutting the dreamers weave.

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  15. Lovely words. Lovely images they evoke.

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  16. Thank you for dropping by Susan

    Much love...

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  17. Thank you for your appreciation Robin

    Much love...

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  18. Trudessa thank you for your appreciation

    Much love...

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  19. Happy you dropped in Rosemary

    Much love...

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  20. Beautiful, you captured the feeling and style of Huerta so well.

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  21. There's a real intensity here--intellect battling with emotion. Thanks, Gillena. K.

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  22. "Gaze of velvet stings" painted quite the image for me. I could imagine the nature of a crow (although this image of a bird doesn't appear to be a crow) and contrast that with the actions of a human. Definitely a weird abstraction of sorts.

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  23. Thank you for your appreciation Manic

    Much love...

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  24. Thank you for your appreciation Ken

    Much love...

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  25. this is like a dark painting but as you kept on reading turns to a fairytale of sort.

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  26. Thanks for your appreciation Totomai

    Much love...

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  27. Oh this is so very powerful πŸ’– especially 'You open and shut the dreamers weave to thread my life through needle bare of bones' sigh.. beautifully executed! πŸ’–

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  28. πŸ’–πŸ’–

    Thank you Sanaa

    much love...

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