image from google dot com
OPEN AND SHUT SURGES
You open the window to grackle songs
The smooth gaze of velvet stings
You shut the cords of angels eyes
Their flight from irises to engage
You open and shut the dreamers weave
To thread my life through needle bare of bones
Yet fleshed of human emotions
through which my mind surges
© gillena cox
Sunday's Mini-challenge: David Huerta...challenged to write a new poem or prose poem in response to David Huerta's words. Some examples of responses include affirming what the speaker said or using his title or line of verse as a jumping board for your own writing.
And sharing also at
Poetry Pantry 234
Beautifully done and intriguing:. I love "the dreamer's weave" especially.
ReplyDeleteinteresting...each little couplet could stand alone but come together to form a greater hold...what we bind and what we loose eh?
ReplyDeleteThe needle through bare bones is a stunning image.. Very close yet your own words from David Huerta.
ReplyDeleteYou have some powerful images here, Gillena...especially 'to thread my life through needle bare of bones.'
ReplyDeleteThank you for your appreciation SHerry
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Thank you Brian, surely appreciative of your critique
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Thanks Bjorn
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Thank you Mary
ReplyDeletemuch love...
You open and shut the dreamers weave
ReplyDeleteTo thread my life through needle bare of bones..... beautiful
Each couplet is beautifully realized, Gillena. This is excellent poetry.
ReplyDeleteThat third couplet is dazzling ~ I admire how you mimicked Huerta's writing style and infused it with your own ~ Thanks for participating with Real Toads & wishing you happy weekend ~
ReplyDeleteThank you Debi
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Happy you dropped in Grace
ReplyDeletemuch love...
O what a shapeless blob, this boneless flesh! ANd then the magic of thinking gives it eyes, angels, meaning.
ReplyDeleteBravo!
ReplyDeleteZQ
This is stunning with each verse having complimentary words such as "window and gaze", "eyes and irises", "weave and needle", then "emotions and mind". I loved it.
ReplyDeleteThe third couplet is my favorite..one can feel the sharpness of opening and shutting the dreamers weave.
ReplyDeleteLovely words. Lovely images they evoke.
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping by Susan
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Thanks RK
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Thank you for your appreciation Robin
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Trudessa thank you for your appreciation
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Happy you dropped in Rosemary
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Beautiful, you captured the feeling and style of Huerta so well.
ReplyDeleteThere's a real intensity here--intellect battling with emotion. Thanks, Gillena. K.
ReplyDelete"Gaze of velvet stings" painted quite the image for me. I could imagine the nature of a crow (although this image of a bird doesn't appear to be a crow) and contrast that with the actions of a human. Definitely a weird abstraction of sorts.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susie
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Thank you for your appreciation Manic
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Thank you for your appreciation Ken
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
this is like a dark painting but as you kept on reading turns to a fairytale of sort.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your appreciation Totomai
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
Oh this is so very powerful 💖 especially 'You open and shut the dreamers weave to thread my life through needle bare of bones' sigh.. beautifully executed! 💖
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
💖💖
ReplyDeleteThank you Sanaa
much love...